L'art du "non"

When in doubt, the French just say "non" (noh: no).  Les français (lay frahn-say: the French) seem to believe that adding no at the end--or beginning--of any statement automatically annuls them from any commitment to other people and even to their own words.  Just in case the word non isn't enough, the French can always add "ne...pas" or "ne...jamais" ( nuh pah, nuh jahm-ay) to a verb as just varying artistic ways of saying non. 

Let's not lie, the French value the powerful drama equilvalent added when "no" is thrown on the table.  No can start an debate, break a heart, ruin a friendship much more easily than a "oui" (wee: yes) can, allowing the French to regard non as a palindrome of godly proportions for its ability to piss people off in the matter of seconds.  So sophisticated in fact is the detail-oriented French art of saying no, that the tone in which you say it and the number of times you repeat it carries varying meanings.  For example:

Just saying "non" once means "No, but you might be able to change my mind".

Saying "non, merci" means "No, and you're really starting to annoy me".

Saying "non, non, et non!" means "No, I'm never going to change my mind, and I hate you".

Of course, the word "yes" feels a little lonely in France with the word non getting all the attention, so the French have even created a special way to say yes if you're saying yes to someone who has just told you non.  When followed by a non, the French oui becomes si (see: yes), a yes-word only used when you're trying to argue with someone who's just said no.  For example:

"Non, je ne peut pas payer!  Je refuse!" - [No, I can't pay!  I refuse!]

"Mais si!  Il faut que tu paies!" - [Yes you can!  You must pay!]

Confused?  Good, because I am.  I've been in France for six months and still can't figure out the correct way to say oui, si, or non in certain situations.  Then again, I think that's partially why the French make it so confusing in the first place.  After all, if you get so confused during an argument that you've forgotten who's said yes and who's said no, chances are the argument will just come to an end over a bottle of vin (von: wine) and some food, and the one thing French love more than saying non is eating.