My Neasa

There is a great emptiness in my life.  On May 3rd, 2011 at around 8:40 pm California time, my Neasa was put to rest by her vet.  Since Neasa loved adventure and the outdoors, no one was able to see what exactly happened, but on Monday my Neasa struggled to get from her injured spot outside so that she could make it home, and waited in the bathroom with a badly damaged face for my dad to see and help her.  She was rushed to the vet purring but scared, and the vet first believed that she was going to make a full recovery but would have to lose her left eye.  But as the doctor started surgery he realized that a massive infection had built-up in Neasa's head, and that she wasn't going to make it.  She was then put to sleep, and is now being mourned by all who knew her.

Please read below if you would like to know more about my beloved Neasa.  I know that Neasa meant a lot to a great many people, and I would love it if you could share some of your favorite memories about her in the comments section, or if you didn't know Neasa, I would also love to hear stories about your own beloved cats.  Neasa adored cats, and I'd love to celebrate her life by sharing all the wonderful stories about the joy they give us.




Neasa was born on March 17th, 2004.  After completing a hellish first year of college, I was determined to find a cat companion in my life, and found the wonderful kitty soon to be known as Neasa listed in a San Diego newspaper.  In early June I first heard Neasa meowing behind a bathroom door.  She was pissed after having been given a bath and wanted the whole world to know it.  I opened the door, and we locked eyes for the first time.  I admired those incredibly vivid green eyes, gorgeous black spots and stripes against her silky smooth brown fur, and the most adorable yet elegant button nose I've ever seen.  I picked her up and I was hooked.  I knew Neasa was the one: my daughter.  I know, I know, she's a cat with her own mother and it's kind of weird to call her my daughter, but that's truly how I felt.  I loved her beyond alljudgment , raised her, trained her, disciplined her (not that she ever needed much disciplining), spent sleepless nights by her side when either one of us was in pain.  Isn't that what a mom is?  But perhaps it's better to call her my best friend, my eternal companion, my bliss.  Of course, she wasn't head over heels in love with me at first.  It took her a couple weeks until she finally let me cuddle with her, but ever since then she always made it clear to me how much she loved me...

Neasa was a Bengal and brown tabby mix, and accordingly she was full of Bengal wild spunk and Tabby love and compassion.  I remember it took me weeks to find a name for my little kitty because every name I chose just didn't seem to fit: I needed a name to describe not only her incredible beauty but also her loyalty, intelligence, hilarious character, energy, love, tenderness, and understanding.  Finally I stumbled across the name "Neasa", which in Celtic mythology was a princess and later queen, known by all for her gentleness and kindness.  Then, in some versions of the story someone kills all of Neasa's foster fathers, and in other versions someone kills Neasa's children, and Neasa took out her vengence on these killers by having them murdered as well.  After that, Neasa was known by her kingdom as "not gentle, not nice".  My Neasa was in many ways like the Neasa in this story: fiercly loyal, compassionate, and caring to those she loved, no matter what, but if you double-cross her, watch out: she didn't take bullshit and she could definitely fend for herself.

I can still remember what it's like to hear Neasa's paws run across the roof of our house, the sound of her purr, the feel and smell of her fur, exactly how her weight felt in my arms and on my lap, and the feel of her tongue when she would lick my ears to wake me up in the morning.  In fact, there were many adorable memories and quirks about Neasa that I will never forget...

For starters, Neasa absolutely loved men.  As a kitten and an exclusively indoor cat she managed to pick up at least three boyfriends.  These male cats would sit outside the glass doors and windows of the apartment and stare at Neasa and Neasa would stare back.  I would let these cats inside to see how Neasa would react, and she was completely content to follow these male cats around the house as they sniffed their way around every room and took naps on the couch.  So, it came as no surprise to me when Neasa moved in with my parents because I had to travel abroad that my Neasa fell in love with my dad immediately.  My dad, not the biggest fan of cats, couldn't help but fall under Neasa's incredible charm, and the two became fast and inseparable companions.  Neasa would spend most of her days asking my dad for meals, then follow him to the workshop where she'd lovingly stare at him read and ask him for cuddles.  She was perfectly content for finally having found such a male in her life. 

In fact, the only male I can ever remember her giving a hard time to was Andrew.  Andrew, one of the biggest animal lovers you'll ever meet, constantly spoiled Neasa with treats and attention.  But Neasa, not one who likes to be double-crossed, made sure Andrew knew just how much she hated the fact that I spent so much time with him, so she would ignore him every time he came over.  Though, I'm positive that deep-down Neasa very much loved Andrew and knew how great of a guy he is, because as soon as Andrew was alone with her, she'd cuddle with him.  But make no mistake: when Andrew and I were going through a rough patch, and I spent my mornings and nights crying in bed over our break-up, Neasa was on my lap or purring next to my head throughout all my tears.  And when Andrew finally returned back into my life, you better know she made him pay for making me cry!

Neasa knew as soon as I was feeling down.  As soon as a tear came to my eye or I had a bad cough or runny nose, Neasa would suddenly slip into bed with me, only leaving to use the bathroom.  She often nursed me back to health, and this is a habit she had through her whole life.  The beauty of her compassion and knowing how to make me feel better will always bring tears to my eyes.  Nothing made me happier or sleep moresoundly than having Neasa sleep right next to my head, in the crook of my arm, which was always her spot when she slept with me, purring until she herself fell asleep, except for the times that she chose to sleep right on top of my stomach, where I'd watch her sleeping, purring body rise and fall with my own.  To wake me up every morning, Neasa would lick inside my ear, and the ticklish scratching of her adorable kitty tongue was more effective than 1,000 alarm clocks, and much more gentle and loving.  I know you probably find this disgusting, but it was one of those cute,quirky things Neasa loved to do, and it always filled me with joy too.  I would give anything to have her wake me up again.

But when I wasn't sad?  Neasa sometimes liked to sleep with me, sometimes liked to sleep in the closet, sometimes liked to sleep on a chair, sometimes liked to sleep in the dirty laundry, sometimes liked to sleep under the bed...Neasa was always switching the spots she liked to sleep every few weeks, all through her life.  Just when I thought I knew just where to find my baby, she'd be gone, and I'd have to hunt the house until I found her on top of a new pile of blankets, curled up in a warm brown ball with sleep in her eyes.  Right now there are blankets, pillows, patches of dirt allaround the house and outside covered in Neasa fur, marking that, for awhile, that was her preferred spot.

Also, Neasa loved turkey.  I discovered this my junior year of college.  As a vegetarian, Neasa and I rarely shared food.  But my roommate in college would often eat turkey sandwiches for lunch, and Neasa would sit and stare at her eating these sandwiches, pawing at  her and meowing.  My roommate gave in and every time she had a turkey sandwich, she'd give Neasa half of the turkey.  From then on,  Neasa was hooked.  She liked no treat more than a piece of freshly-sliced deli turkey, would drool on Thanksgiving when there was a turkey roasting in the oven, and even managed to eat some Tofurkey one year without complaint!  I think another reason my Neasa loved my Dad so much?  He's a meat eater who would share his food with her.  Neasa loved her meat!

A funny little thing is that my Dad hates noise, be it kids talking too loudly, horns honking, dogs barking, or cats meowing.  But Neasa LOVED to talk!  And she had a lot of great things to say!  Sometimes she was dying of hunger and wanted you to fill the food bowl, other times she would bethirsty and since she preferred fresh water she wanted you to turn on the tap so she could lap up the gentle drip coming out.  Other times she just wanted to say good morning, or that she wanted a tummy rub, or that she was too hot, or that she missed you.  Like I said, Neasa LOVED to talk.  And this was one of the many things I absolutely adored about her and always encouraged.  Hearing her meow happily always made me feel at peace.  The meowing drove my Dad crazy when he first heard it, but it wasn't before long that Neasa had my Dad wrapped around her little paw, ordering him to feed her and pet her, even talk back to her.  Their morning hellos to each other became a daily ritual.  She knew exactly what she was doing trying to win him over, and every time I think about this it brings a smile to my face.  Now, she is buried right next to my Dad's workshop, in one of her all-time favorite spots, next to one of her all-time favorite people.  She can spend the rest of eternity now, admiring my Dad, sharing his meat, and asking for cuddles.


Neasa also charmed our dogs, and was always good with them.  Having very little contact with dogs in her early years, I was a bit nervous about how she'd like the dogs when she moved home with my parents in the summer of 2006.  But she was not one to be scared or shy, and the dogs fell in love with her and grew respect for her instantly, accepting her into their pack while also letting her do her own thing.  Except Fergus, who has never taken no for an answer, so Neasa and him grew to be best friends, playing with each other daily, Neasa repeatedly letting Fergus shove her whole head in his mouth as he ran to greet her every time she walked through he front door.  In fact, an interesting story is that in the mythology of Neasa, Fergus--a king--becomes Neasa's lover...  Anyway, one of the favorite parts of everyone's day was when Neasa was fed.  She would get a handful of kibble, and then the dogs would also get a handful of her kibble (which for some reason to dogs tastes so much better than dog food)...Neasa was always good about sharing.  And when I took the dachshunds out for my last walk with them, before I had to say goodbye to them forever, Neasa climbed into the stroller with us.  She wanted to go on the walk too.  She also wanted to say goodbye.  She knew how hard it was and wanted to show her love and respect.  I found her act so touching that I wanted to immortalize it forever with a photo.

To show her love and appreciation for her family, Neasa would often bring back the gift of a dead rat or mouse.  She would drop these in the middle of the floor of the house, in plain view of everyone, always intact.  I found this to be incredibly endearing, because as tempting as it would have been for Neasa to nibble a bit here and there off the mouse, she didn't.  She gave us the complete trophy of her catch.  And I knew she was just trying to show her gratitude towards the family she loved, and who loved her, more than anything so I never once got upset about these gifts.

There are just too many wonderful, beautiful memories about my Neasa, my beautiful, intelligent, caring, loyal, loving, compassionate, SPUNKY, food-loving, adventure-loving, outdoors-loving, cuddle-loving Neasa.  She helped me through so, so much in my life.  She was my friend when no one else would be.  She listened to my problems and gave me her advice, often in the form of a long cuddle, consoling me with the sound of her purr.  She was the one perfect spot in my life when nothing else was going right.  She brought me happiness every second I knew her.  My biggest regret is that I couldn't be there with her while she was going through so much pain at the end of her life.  I would give anything to kiss her injuries and tell her that no matter what, to me she'll always be perfect.  I want to tell her how much I love her, from the very depths of my soul.  I want to thank her for loving me.  Yes, Neasa was a cat, but she was also an integral part to my life and loved by everyone who met her.  There will be a great hole in our family with her absence , one that can never be replaced.  But I also take comfort in knowing that she had no desire to leave her family, and I'm sure she is watching over us all as we continue living our lives missing her.  I know that I can definitely feel her with me, and this brings me great comfort.  The fact that when I come home from France Neasa won't be there to greet me, that I can't hold her, kiss her, hear her meow one last time will never stop breaking my heart.  This whole situation seems so unreal, and I know it's going to take a lot of time for me and my family to accept.

I love you, Neasa.  You're always in my thoughts and my heart, forever.  Thank you for everything.