I can't forget the whole reason I'm in France to begin with: la salle de classe (lah sahl duh class: the classroom). I'm an English Teaching Assistant, which means that my funds for living in France start with--and end with--a room full of tables, chairs, and French teenagers speaking broken English and my ability to help them better understand.
The thing is, every time I enter the classroom I get a little sweaty and my mouth starts to dry from nerves. Every new hour and with each new student comes a new learning experience not only for mes élèves (mez eh-lev: my students), but also for moi (muhwa: myself). Not being able to speak fluent French with students in the classroom has proven to be more of a pain than I ever realized, often leaving me wondering if I even have the slightest impact on ces petits enfants (sayz puh-teet on-fant: these kids).
Of course, it doesn't help my enthusiasm when I show up to the high school only to learn that I won't be teaching that day, or more often, show up to le collège (luh koll-ehj: the junior high) only to be handed the lesson I'm supposed to give seconds before I walk into class. Supposedly all this experience is great training for thinking on the run, but personally I'd take a little organization over pulling lessons out of thin air any day. In the meantime, my confidence dies a little every time I struggle over my head teacher's hastily written lesson plan, keeping my fingers crossed that my students won't discover that no, I don't in fact have any idea what I'm doing and just play along instead: I feel like dancing the jig anytime a student voluntarily participates, and I understand finalement (feen-al-mehn: finally) just how much planning lessons feels like I'm back in 10th grade, mindlessly pouring over homework until the wee hours of the morning while wishing I could be watching The Simpsons and zoning out instead.
Just when I'm about to give up, there's that spark of communication between me and the students: I've said something new, and they've understood. And they're thankful for it. So thankful, in fact, that ils se plaignent (eel zeh plehn: they complain) when the bell rings because they actually wanted to finish the lesson. I shed a tear of happiness, all is right with the world, and for a mere moment the salle de classe seems a little less threatening after all.
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Oh gosh, I know exactly how you feel!! Granted, I work with little kids, and make my own lesson plans, but there's nothing like the nerves you get before a class. And there's nothing better than the excitement you feel when they actually get something. Bonus points if they're having fun at the same time.
ReplyDeleteKeep pressing through, we're really good at this!
Bises,
Allison
Seriously-- you need to publish the blog when you get home! It is amazing! My roommate has been reading along, because she enjoys your writing and loves France as much as you do. ;) Don't worry, she is way cool, and you two would totally get along.
ReplyDeleteANYWAY-- about you! I just adore you Leith, and if there is anything that the fine faculty at SLV High taught us, it is how to BS our way through life. You do just well dearest! :D I love you, and always have you in my prayers :D
wow-- that definitely sounds like a challenging teaching assignment to have to basically wing it with only 10 minutes advance warning before class; no wonder you get nervous!! kudos to you, i always took comfort in my trusty lesson plan prepared ahead of time, whether i actually ended up following it or not, it was my security blanket. but ahhh, the thrill when they get excited about something too! my heartfelt admiration! love, mom
ReplyDeleteLeith, if only those students (and those teachers) knew what you have been going through in class. I think they would admire your perseverence and patience with them. It sure doesn't sound like any easy task to be in a foreign country teaching nonanglophone students English. And you are doing it so well! These kids will remember you forever, Leith. And you are not only teaching them so well, but to top it off, you are writing about it so wonderfully and so captivating. I love you, Leith.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel! Trust me! But those moments totally make it worth it.
ReplyDeleteAnd remember, no matter how the lesson goes, they don't have any clue about how it was actually supposed to go... for all they know, it went exactly according to plan!
Leighann- You're so sweet, thank you! Would love to meet your roommate someday! What a smart girl to be obsessed with French culture ;)
ReplyDeleteIt helps so much when I ask other teachers if they ever get "the jitters" before class. They always responds "yes" (or "oui!" in my case). It makes me feel slightly better knowing that I'm not the only one frightened by a mob of adolescents in the classroom...kidding...
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